I getting quite some new stuff recently, and they really can add up to a cost of a bomb. ):
And so now I'm heavily in debts. ):

Dan.

A totally different feeling and sound from the previous.
A hole on my wallet, but totally no regrets. (:

I'm deleting all the pictures from my previous memory card.
Nostalgia. I sort of can't bear to see them deleted. ):
Pictures of M and I, a year ago and now.
Pictures with different people; sigh, there must be more to come!

E63.



Zero dollar, but I'm totally loving it. (:

Black.

It's a dream come true.
Totally broke now, but it's a dream made into reality.
Hearts.

Can't wait to go photo taking with M. (:

Labels: black

At the sight of you, my tamed anger rose again.
Hurt and don't wanna be hurt again.
Knowing you'd never put in much effort, I'd still hope.
But seeing you makes me feel like a fool.

No, no one will know.
No one wants to know.
Because yes, I bear grudges and hurt.
But no, no one will know, and want to know.

I realised, I really don't wanna start a conversation with you.
Because it'll all just be surface talking.

Too versatile, being neutral and building a facade is the next best thing to do.
Because I don't have to be affected by those mood swings and variable attitudes.

I choose not to believe that there's an angel in you.

Take me home, please.

Bogus.
I should have learnt my lesson.

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do, nothing to prove.
And it's you and me and all the other people.
And I don't know why, I can't take my eyes off you.

Labels: Songs

Winner!

Zippo Advertisement
I think this is the best photo M took, out of all the others! (:
I love Canon. ((:
Next would be even better; Black. (:

Anyway, met up with Boon some time ago for supper.

I love being around this man (minus those smoking moments). ((:

Last but not least.

M. (:
Just a silent smile and a leap in my heart; you'll know. (:

Labels: chillpeeps, photographs, second best thing

I stumbled upon this website by chance. (After Jia "liked" it.)
It's really inspiring.
But somehow, it brings out the "how to" questions in me.
Do visit its website. (:
HERE

I died.

ZEB'S FAMILY COOKS THE BESTEST BESTEST BEST COOKIES EVER! :DD



Totally DELICIOUS! :DD
THANK YOU ZEBB!!! :DD

Met up with Zeb and Minghao.
And even though I don't understand 75% of what they were talking, I really enjoyed their company. ((:


I miss you guys. ):

Anyway, I'M ON BANGS NOW, SUCKERS.
I look weird. ):
But M says I look okay. ((:
Oh wells, worst comes to worst, I'd just wait for another two months to pass. ((:

Me then:


Me now:


It's undeniable that we're the same person. (:
I look like some doll. Bahh!

Night shift this week, I guess I won't be coming online so often then. ):
Oh wells, I'm not looking forward to breathing.

Labels: chillpeeps, Figure it yourself, short hair again

Stay up till late at night, wake up early in the morning.
Be extremely exhausted.
Tire out the mind and the body.
Burn out the soul, so that no senses shall be present.

What windfall can I expect, when I'm already expecting naught?

Maybe that was my last meeting with MH and Z.
Maybe that was my last talk with KB.
Maybe that was my last outing with YW.
Maybe that was my last gathering with B, J, C, L and M.

I'll have a fuller meal.
I'll play my last song.
I'll answer my last call.

I love you.

Labels: the last

Went to YANG's house recently for Fish and Chips! :DD

It was SUPER NICE! :D
But I still don't understand why I have to be the only not-so-skinny one there. ):

THANKS YANG AND NAM. (:

I really did enjoyed myself. (:
I wish we can meet up more often in such manner!

For randoms..

Jake's gay twin. (:

I LOVE D.T.Y.S.

Move it, babe. (:

Labels: chillpeeps, favorite babes, second best thing

All the dry sand and scorching sun.
Pour down the rain.

Delirious. ((:

Dare not provoke.

I'm lacking of sleep, lacking of gum, and lacking of M.
When shall one's eye fall upon thy face again?
I miss M. Argh. ):

Labels: second best thing

Love.

Still?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because bricks fall apart all the time.
So let's build from the foundation again.
Maybe this time we will build it stronger than ever. (:

I woke up with a nice dream.
But I woke up.

It'll all be fine in the shallow waters.
Don't go any deeper; let's just stay shallow.
Because beneath every calm surface is a rushing current.
Don't try, we'll all die.

I threw my phone on my table, the screen cracked; irrevocable pain.
I'm really upset about it.
Upset about all the lost contacts and messages that were saved in that phone.
Upset that it's all gone.

But if I use back my previous phone, will the good five come back?

I want to sleep. Very badly wants to sleep.
And maybe one day, I'd really sleep. (:

I don't know why am I holding on to things that I know will eventually leave me.
It's like a pathetic person trying to hold on to a hope that she knows doesn't exist.
But just by holding on, assurance is present; albeit pain will be inevitable.

One more week of night shift is gone! So very fast! :DD
Just last Saturday, Boon and I had the best talk ever! :DD
I really missed talking to him, chilling somewhere nearby and talking about everything under the MOON. ((:
Its really been a long time since we've chilled, since I've spoken and since we've met up. ):
(Photo taken and posted on 11 June 2008)

And to a very great extend, it made me realised I really miss hanging out with Betty, Yeewen, Zeb and Minghao.
Sigh, I really miss listening and talking to them. ):

Occasionally, I wish to throw my tantrum like a wilful, spoilt brat.
And at those times, I wish I'd still be spoilt and pampered.

The first step of maturity is to have the ability to feel the feelings, not speak the logic.

I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset

Labels: song

I'm touched you stayed awake for me. (:

I tried.
But when the road turns into a bad alley, and things just goes down the hill, it doesn't mean I have yet to try.
It just means that all my effort on trying goes down the same hill.

Labels: anniversary, second best thing

She's my sweetheart and my POTENTIAL lesbian partner.
She's Jialing! :DD

Happy Birthday BABE!
I remember your crazy hugging days! But I'm not exactly THAT glad that it's over!
Cause I no longer get free hugs from you! ):
Anyway, I LOVE YOU BABE!
BE MY LESBIAN PARTNER!! Laughs!

I have CORN on both my fourth toe.

WOE TO HEELS!
I hate wearing heels in the LONG term!
I should be born like.. TEN centimeters taller. Bahh.

Anyway, my current desire - E63.

It's another love at first sight phone!
And I realised that all my love at first sight phones are BLACK in color! Laughs!
But my legibility for no charge plan upgrade will only be at the end of this year.
I'm crossing my fingers for it to go all the way down to ZERO dollar! Muahah!!
Pamela already has this phone, I think? And it's super duper classy on her! BAHH!
I wonder if it'll look as classy on me! Laughs!

Last but not least...

LOVEEEEE! :DDD

Nothing's happy enough, everything's too sad.
THERE'S NOTHING MUCH HAPPENING TO BE BLOGGED ABOUT. ):

Perhaps the more exciting thing would be cgm on thu, which was fun! (:
Took up the guitar, and I love it.
Maybe no one will ever listen, maybe I'd never improve on my skills.
Maybe I'd never outplay anyone, but I guess, it's good enough for me.
Ate seaweed chicken that M made.
Even though it wasn't actually for me, but he did gave them to me!
NICE. (:

Think perhaps next month will be more exciting.
Gon meet MH and Z, and Seoul Garden with workmates.
I'm deprived of photo taking. ):
Maybe after Kezia I should go some dark corner and take some nice pictures. (:

On this sinking boat, in this stormy sea.
A painful realisation struck me.
No one's around; panic arising.
I look around me, everyone's sleeping.
A stab in the heart, I'm so foolish.
I'd be in denial, but my ghost will still be supportive.

Put back the pieces of me.
And look, I'm below pretty.
If I'd take forever to recognise the ruins of me, will you still take forever to figure me out?

For every ring I've owned, it all had its different significance.
One I choose to wear it daily, the other I've decided to put aside.

My rings reminded me of happiness and sadness.
It reminded me of the good things, and also the hardships life often inflict on people.
And everytime I wear them, I make a decision to be willing to be reminded of both.

I've got two rings.
I've stopped wearing one of them for quite some time.
Because each ring has it memories and representation.
And I don't want to be constantly reminded that things I hold dear to me can be crap to another.

I've lost my other ring.
And I know there are no other rings that can replace the significance of it.

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple. -Psa 27:4

And the hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay.

I don't need reminders.
You don't need hell.

Labels: Songs

I wander and wonder, but I don't ask.

Colors aren't meant to be true.
They're only present to hide all the black and white beneath it.
Because no one wants to see gray.

Labels: randoms, thinking thoughts

I turn a deaf ear.

I don't desire recognition; a gold tag and well fitted clothes.
I'd try my best to filter the things that I don't want to hear or know, and only retain those that I feel are pleasant.
Maybe all are deceitful lies, but at least it makes the road easier to walk.

What goes around comes around.
Not resentful.

Even with help from Jolyne, the posting page of Blogger is still distorted.
And I really have no idea why. ):
So now I'm gonna use Internet Explorer to blog. -.-

Anyway, tomorrow's gonna be my first time working afternoon shift.
As usual, not looking forward to work. ):
I just wish to slack at home slightly longer and not have to think that I'm gonna have to work tomorrow. ):
But oh wells, I'm gonna have a busy busy week ahead!
So time's gonna pass fast, and it'll be 11 months left! :DDD

I had the worst week but the best day.
And looking at this best day, the worst week no longer seem that bad afterall.
Hearts M. ((:

I wish I can be all you want, because all I want is you.

Labels: second best thing, workworkwork

No one wants to know.
that i'd wake up breathing tomorrow.

Happy birthday JOLYNEEEEE! :D

Labels: breadwinner, celebrations, happy birthdays, workworkwork

M's. (:













These are just a few of those superb pictures he'd taken!
I can't upload every single one of them because it'll take all night! Laughs!

M.

I love his morning greetings.
I love the way he do things to make me smile.
I love his "cookie" smile.
I love M. (:

One day is NOT enough. ):
I totally don't wanna go back to work tomorrow! ):

CONGRATES DEBBBBBBB, MY OH-SO-VERY-LOVED-BY-DINAH and SUPER GORGEOUS LOOKING SISTER! :DD

A formal shot of the sisters! :D
For once, I look like a damsel.

Went for the SOT Graduation 2009 Service today!
Was kinda upset that I couldn't be there for Deb's graduation yesterday. ):
But oh well, at least I got to take three miserable pictures with her in her graduation gown! :D

I was wearing her Ed Hardy jacket!

I LOVE GEISHA. :D

My favourite photo. (:

LOVES!!

Anyway, M passed me some of his totally awesome photos he had taken some time back! :D
However, one post cannot contain two main stories!
So, next post then! :D

Goodbye - Secondhand Serenade
It's a shame, that it had to be this way
It's not enough to say I'm sorry,
It's not enough to say I'm sorry.

Maybe I'm to blame
Or maybe we're the same
But either way I can't breathe
Either way I can't breathe

All I had to say was goodbye,
We're better off this way,
We're better off this way.

I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive
'Cause everything we've been through
And everything about you seems to be a lie,
A guiltless, twisted lie
That made me learn to hate you
Or hate myself for letting it pass by.

All I had to say is goodbye,
We're better off this way,
We're better off this way.

And every, everything isn't only what it seems
So hold these words that you never told me
It's time to say goodbye, it's time to say goodbye...
It's time to say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

Take my pain away
Tell me I, tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Its kinda sad that a Friday really don't feel like a Friday, plainly because on a Saturday I have to work. ):
But oh well, I'll just have to look forward to a morning Sunday service! :D

Went for CGM yesterday.
Walked for more that half an hour just to find the place, but I'm glad I didn't throw in the towel.
Even though the moment I stepped in, Helen announced the long awaited "CGM has just ended and fellowship has just began!", I couldn't be more relief to be in that crowd of people.

Retrospecting the fun times we had together at ECP, Sentosa, BBQs, normal CGMs, games, guitar sessions etc, I realised I've really missed out a lot. And even though it was a really short fellowship, it was like one of my happiest moments this whole week. (:

I was also reminded of the past where M's and my lives barely touched each other then, and how that few touch points led to a relationship. Romantic things don't happen all the time, but one very casual thing happened then that made the night unforgettably romantic. (:

I guess at times of restrictions, I'm really forced to see what are my priorities.
God or tiredness? God or my own time? God or M? God or convenience? God or me?
And if it's God, then should there still be any excuses that I don't give Him any priority?

All in all, I hope that when I come to a crossroad where a decision has to be made between God and M, I want to choose God.
And for M, I hope he chooses God too. (:
Because ultimately, if not for God, there will be no M and me.

Labels: Cell group meetings, second best thing, thinking thoughts, worth a read

I'm slow and late.
And by the time I react, I would've been dead.
But M's always fast, and sometimes a tad too anxious.
And because he is, he always saves the day. (:
LOVES. :D

Labels: second best thing

Eightness. (:

Watched UP with the cell group just yesterday night.
And I don't deny it made me really lethargic at work the following day.
But I really did enjoyed myself, even though not everyone came and even though it's not in 3D format.
I realised I really missed going out for outings as such with the cell group members.
Just chatting and laughing in the train is such fun that I realise I'm really missing.

Anyway, work so far has been tiring.
Learning new things really slowly.
And all the time I miss M. ):

Your name brings a wave of painful ache to my heart,
telling me that you're not coming back,
reminding me to not be so gullible to trust in your empty words,
and tormenting me that it was all my fault that you turn out this way.

Labels: cell group, second best thing, workworkwork

I think you know what I'm getting at
I find it so upsetting that
the memories that you select you keep the bad but the good you just forget

and even though I'm angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
when you peel out and drive away
I can't believe this happened

And all this time I never thought
that all we had would be all for naught

No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far

Make your decision and don't you dare think twice
go with your instincts along with some bad advice
this didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all
you blame me but some of this is still your fault

I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that

and wisdom always chooses
these black eyes and these bruises
over the heartache that they say
never completely goes away
(I just can't believe this happened
and one day we'll see this come around)

what happened to us
i heard that it's me we should blame
what happened to us
why didn't you stop me from turning out this way
and know that I don't hate you
and know that I don't want to fight you
and know that I'll always love you
but right now I just don't...

Labels: Songs

Work is tiring, physically.
And I totally wish I can hug M to sleep every night.
But we all know it's impossible. ):

But even though work is exhaustive, at certain points it makes me feel alive.
Makes me feel that I'm doing something that's tiring, that hurts, that burns me out.
It does makes me feel alive.
And to a certain extend, I'm actually too busy to think too much. :)

I have a song in mind that I can sing one year later, but only if the ending is what I hope it would be.
Yet why do I see myself disappointed, one year later?

I really don't understand, why is it so hard to let go?
If only everything can rank the same in one's heart.
But the day when I no longer bother if those were lies or truths, it shall be the day you're no longer important to me.
And really, I dread the arrival of that day.

Labels: randoms, second best thing

One year to surprise me.
One year to prove me wrong.
One year to show me that I weren't wrong to put you on my VIP list.
One year to make me see that all weren't lies.
One year to make me believe.
You have one year.
Yet why do I see myself disappointed, one year later?

M's the sweetest.
I should ban him from eating sweets, cause I'd get diabetes if I hang around him often. Laughs!
It's like de javu all over again.
Suzhou all over again. ):

Opps! I'm supposed to be turning in 1 minute ago. ):

Labels: me to yous, second best thing, suzhou study trip

Slept 4 h0urs.

Morning prayer service; totally no regrets. (:

Didn't stay for celebration service. )):

Airport.

Home.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I've finally finished watching all TEN seasons of Friends, as targeted! :D
And gosh, I totally can't believe that it's all over! ):
Now what am i going to watch everyday? ):
Oh well, I'd be working everyday except Sundays anyway, so I guess, I won't be that free afterall!

I am kinda tired, and regarding work, I'm also kinda looking forward and NOT looking forward at the same time.
Looking forward because I'd be learning new stuff(I hope!) and also allows me not to think so much. (:
Not looking forward because I won't even be hearing much of M's voice. ):
But oh wells, I'm guessing that M will be able to focus more on studying if my voice isn't there to distract him! Laughs.
My voice's reallllllllly attractive! HAHA!

Anyway, it's time I should go to sleep!
And guess what, it's 11.13pm. BAHH!

Labels: Church, thinking thoughts, workworkwork

Another 2am and I'm still not tired enough to sleep post.

I can't believe, I have one more day of freedom before I'd step in to the working life.
Can't say I'm not looking forward, but part of me is really dreading to make that first step.
Not to mention, no more looking forward to meeting M and James to go to the airport on Saturdays before services. ):

-edited-

I wish for a lot of things.
I wish I don't have to remove my make up too.
And I also wish I don't have to look into the mirror to see myself with no clay on.

I am so gonna miss M. ):
How?

Labels: thinking thoughts

I like to take a late night train and see tired couples holding hands, leaning and falling asleep on each other's shoulders.

Labels: random

I don't deny you drive me mad at times.
But I drive you mad most of the time.
I love you still, Chandler. (:

Anyway, I am going to believe that ZEB WILL BE READING THIS ANYTIME.
Even though I know he may just claim that he's going to be a devotee to my blog, still, I don't know if he'd really commit! MUAHAH!
And he sent me a really sweet poem as a morning greeting. (:
THANKS ZEB! :DD
I miss you and Minghao loads and loads! )):
I miss sitting outside LTD1 drinking milk tea.
I miss seeing Zeb drown in those countless cups of tea.
Bahh.

I'm starting work soon, which means I may not have time to blog or come online so very often anymore. ):
I'm kinda looking forward to it, yet I'm going to miss M and some other people.
It's gonna be like, meeting ONCE a week, and only SUNDAY services.
But I hate sitting at home knowing no money's going into my pockets.
So, LET'S DO THIS, DINAH! ((:

Labels: chillpeeps, Church, second best thing, workworkwork

Because she’s spring
My morning blossom
Silly and chirpy
She’s love unspoken

Because she’s summer
My reason to burn
Anger provoking
She’s making me learn

Because she’s autumn
My leaves blown away
Baring in cold winds
She’s darkened my day

Because she’s winter
My temperature’s down
Always indifferent
She’s my reason to frown

But because of spring
I care not a thing
I’ll hang on, hoping
She’ll always be spring


Spring’s coming,
I think. =x

-Jeremy Teo


Will I always be the spring you'd be waiting for?

Labels: quotes

M's still sick. ):
But he's getting better already!
No more fever and very minimal flu. :DD
GET WELL SOON DARLING!
I'm going to disappear and appear in work veryveryvery soon. ):
Bahh. ):

There was an awkward pause, and I knew you were hoping I would get what you were trying to say; you bet I did.
I know we stand on different ground, and I also know that all the family talk were crap.
I understand the reason behind the actions, but not the reaction.
Oh well, it's alright, anyway I've never really believed that the family talk was ever real.
And it proves me even more how untrue it all gets.
Let's watch how much lower can this sink.

Because I don't believe, I really don't.
It's no point chasing cause I know I'd end up disappointed.
And so I'd do what's necessary, but I'm stepping back.
Do what you want, because I really don't believe, and I don't care.

Labels: me to yous, randoms, second best thing, sick, workworkwork

Sat down at the edge of the bed to watch, the second time.
Same adoration, different situation.

Its the second day I can't seem to fall asleep.
It takes me forever to fall asleep, and after dozing off, I'll just end up waking my 2-3 hours later.
So I figured out that if I were make myself extremely tired, I would just fall asleep the moment I touch my bed. (:

Anyway, I changed my blog's icon, WITH MINSHI'S HELP!
Thanks Minshi!! :D
It's a picture of a withered tree I've taken when during my last trip to Ubin with the Informatics people!
But I think the icon's too small, and the tree cannot really be seen. ):

Anyway, I'm watching Order Of The Phoenix now. Laughs.
That stupid idiotic Umbridge really has a face that makes you wanna punch! ARGH!
But I think the actors and actresses of Professor McGonagal, Professor Snape, Voldermort and the PREVIOUS Dumberdore are really goooood actors!! :DD
AND I CAN'T BELIEVE BLACK DIED. ARGHARGHARGH!! ):
He didn't die the way I imagined him to die! Laughs!

I like the name "Black".
I should be named...
Dinah Jake Black Tng
And so Jake and Black are like my middle names while Dinah and Tng are my actual names.
HAHA!

Oh my god, so many things about the show is different from the book!!
WHERE IS DOBBY?! )):
And it was Cho's friend who leaked the information! Not Cho!!

And I totally ADORE Fred and George Weasley!
Argh, and I'm going to the part where Sirious is gonna die. I CANNOT TAKE IT. ARGHH!

Oh anyway, I like the actress whose acting as Bellatrix Lestrange, even though I totally detest her in the show! She's the one who cursed Black and caused his death! ARGH!
But I like the actress, Helena Bonham Carter. (:
She looks sooooo gothic! And I like! :D

Okay, it's 3.55am in the morning.
I guess I'm FINALLY going to sleep, I hope. (: